I picked up the book, "A Year to Live," by Stephen Levine a few weeks ago at our local street library (it's this huge birdhouse like shelf) that the community donates books and whoever passing by can grab 1-2 at a time.
That day, I had texted my friend who was going through a program in SF and I was invited to join in but due to finances and time - it just wasn't meant to be. Lo' and behold, walking around the neighborhood and viola! this book was in the shelf.
February holds memories of joy and heartbreak for me. Really, it's a month the month of my son's passing and though it has been 6 years -- it's still a tender spot in my being. I've accepted it, I've let go but I just know that there's a tenderness there.
I've digressed - so returning back to A Year to Live. I'm going to start. Tonight, I begin and it is my intention to journal this journey here. In the book, the 1st month is designated to reflecting on how I react/respond to a 1 year prognosis. Which beckons the question - "What is my legacy?" What will I leave behind when I am gone. My daughter? Yes and no. I can only influence and teach he what is/was the ever important question of "what is important?" And as I write this down - I already have an answer and it comes from one of my favorite books that I read to Reverie called, "The Three Questions," by Jon J Muth:
"When is the best time to do things? Who is the most important one? What is the right thing to do?"
Answer: "There is only one important time, and that time is now. The most important one is always the one you are with. And the most important thing is to do good for the one who is standing at your side."
I think the practice to live the answer is a work in itself. So here I go, with 354 days to live.